Funniest First Date - Reprint

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Bill Hamilton

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Funniest First Date?



If you didn't see this on the Tonight show, I hope you're sitting down when

you read it. This is probably the funniest date story ever, first date or

not!!! We have all had bad dates..but this takes the cake.



Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date

that a woman ever had. The winner described her worst first date experience.

There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize!



She said it was midwinter... snowing and quite cold...and the guy had taken

her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City, Utah. It was a day trip

no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and truly had never met

before The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were headed

home late that afternoon.



They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to

realize that she should not have had that extra latte. They were about an

hour away from anywhere with a rest room and in the middle of nowhere! Her

companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a while.



Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point

where she told him that he had better stop and let her go beside the road,

or it would be the front seat of his car. They stopped and she quickly

crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down and started. In the deep

snow she didn't have good footing, so she let her butt rest against the rear

fender to steady herself.



Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and indeed

was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she could think about

was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the

situation. Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another

sensation.



As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks

were firmly glued against the car's fender. Thoughts of tongues frozen to

poles immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh from

the icy metal. It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem

due to the extreme cold.



Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor of the moment, she

answered her date's concerns about "what is taking so long" with a reply

that indeed, she was "freezing her butt off and in need of some assistance!"

He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and

then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing.

She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose

themselves, they assessed her dilemma.



Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with a

real problem. Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly

cheeks from the grip of the icy metal !



Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first place,

both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free.



So, as she looked the other way, her first-time date proceeded to unzip his

pants and pee her butt off the fender. As the audience screamed in laughter,

she took the Tonight Show prize hands down.. or perhaps that should be

"pants down." And you thought your first date was embarrassing.



Jay Leno's comment .. "This gives a whole new meaning to being pi$$ed off.



:lol::lol:

 

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