Fighting fair

[Michael Snow]

I crawled into bed last night and all was fine. Wife then decided to hit me up for a wedding this weekend. I said I didn't want to go. I don't know either the bride or the groom -- never even laid EYES on them. We know the parents of the groom. I'm cynical enough to believe that only a few people that are invited to any wedding actually matter if they show up or not and many invitations are just gift solicitations. No problem, we got them a gift. Wife says she wants to go, so I suggest she go (alone).



Then it starts -- "you never do stuff like this with me". Okay, name one... some Christmas dinner that I was apparantly invited to that I either didn't know about or it was a "spouses are allowed" thing. It was a Mary Kay business meeting as far as I was concerned. I explained that I go back to see her family several times per year and she goes even more often than that. Well, she then just rolls over and starts crying. That goes on for a few minutes, then she gets up and goes to sleep with the baby (queen sized bed for the baby). This morning, I go in there and crawl in bed next to the baby. The wife wakes up long enough to roll away from me.



Okay, I have no problem with marital arguments -- they happen. But how can I fight when she refuses to fight fair.. .crying, taking her toys and leaving, and just ignoring me isn't the way to resolve anything.



Tell me I'm right... or close to right.

 

[Scott Hammer TOXIC]

How long you been married?



Women don't fight fair, never have, never will.



How many days do you spend on the water???? Go to the wedding AND ENJOY IT. It ain't worth it.



Take from me and I have a wife who doesn't fish. You better be givin as much as you take. Any chance of postpartum depression? Pretty common nowadays.



TOXIC

 

[Donald Fruge]

Please refer to BJ's post about the girlfriend and the genni in a bottle....LOL



Wolf

 

[Brian Ingersoll]

I agree with Tox, once it gets to the point she is upset enough to cry and sleep in a different room, you're better off to go to the wedding. (if it's that important to her then it needs to seem like it's important to you)



Probably not a bad idea to mention afterward that it wasn't as bad as you were expecting.



Know how you feel about the family thing. My wife visits her family four to five times per year and I only go once or twice. They also come visit us alot. They live in Fort Worth and that is to long a drive for me when I can be at the lake in 2 hours. If you're not careful the family visit thing can sound like you don't care about her family.

 

[Texas Transplant]

The two most important words that a husband should know:



Yes, Dear.



Followed by the three most next important, if you should forget the above.



I'm sorry Dear.



If you get those two down pat, everything else is easy.



Tex

 

[Rich D]

I always assume I am wrong. It just makes things easier...

 

[Staci Matheis]

Flowers.

"I Love You!"



Get the idea, Mike!??!









On second thought.....

You're a big guy.....

Make that a BIG bouquet of flowers!

(Don't want to look ridiculous carring in a couple of posies!)

 

[Michael S]

Women do not fight fair....they never will. So make sure your suit is clean because it sounds like you will need it this weekend...because you will either be at the wedding or you will need to look good for your wake.

 

[Rob LaMoy]

Remember this very important phrase taught to me by a mentor and "happily" married man for 30+ years......"Happy wife....happy life!"

Simple but true.

 

[fatrap]

I once thought I was gonna get rich devising a "Decoder" for guys to use in their dealings with women. You just entered the question and it spat out the real meaning of the question. Such as Q:"Honey can you go to the store?" "Real Meaning" "YOU'D BETTER GO TO THE STORE FOR ME AND BE HAPPY ABOUT IT". There was just too many variables that scrambled the meanings, rendering the proper anwser impossible. Weather, time of month, day of the week, time of day, outcome of a soap opera etc made my quest impossible. Even with todays supercomputers no one can crack the code. So Mike suck it up and go. I've chaperoned a bunch of Proms so I can sit in the boat without a guilty concience.

fatrap

 

[Christopher Laurencio]

Your probably right but that's not the issue.



I would go if it were me. My wife does not complain about how many free days I spend fishing or playing basketball or just hanging out or buying a new truck or buying a boat or changing careers. So when it comes to stuff like that I usually go with it. Especially if she got upset over it. It will go a long way.

 

[Michael S]

And like Tox said in an earlier post if you want to let your turtle play in the mud any time soon you might want to go to the wedding....

 

[Rob LaMoy]

Yeah! Especially if you want her and her "toys" to come back over to your side of the sandbox! LOL

 

[Steve Rizza]

Be a man Snow.

TELL her it's her family,not yours.Then tell her you are going fishing and get all liquered up.After she comes home explain to her you are all wound up from the strip club and want a little lovin'.

Then TELL her to cook some food because all of your poker buddies are coming over.And one of them needs a place to crash for a few weeks till he finds a job.



BE A MAN FOR ONCE IN YOUR......



wait a minute......



oops...



gotta go....





coming dear......



yes dear,I'll get right on those dishes....



sorry dear...

 

[John Rustige]

I wear the pants in my family too.



As soon as I get the laundry done.

 

[William H. (Bill) Barham]

Snowman, Snowman, Snowman.. Tsk, tsk, tsk...



Go to the wedding, hold her hand, smile and grin at everybody, get a tear going now and then, do NOT get drunk... This will pay off and is the way grasshopper...



Bill

 

[Larry Harp]

I always say, "There are two types of men in the wourld....

married men,

and happy men."



What you gotta do is figure out if you want to be a happy man or a married man.



So what's it gonna be PUNK?

Go ahead.....MAKE HER DAY!!!





Harpo

 

[Carlos Hathcock III]

Dude,

It is all about compromise. That way both are happy for the most part I guess.........



I (Tox, KB say NOTHING) do things (go the grocery store) that I DO NOT like, but I do it in the name of compromise and for all the times I drag here into Home Depot. BAss Pro does not count as she spends as much in there as I do. She really likes their clothes and food stuff.



Carlos

 

[Barb Baggott]

I heard about this thing called a "marriage bank". You have to make deposits if you want to withdraw anything. Such as going to the wedding with your wife is a deposit and you going fishing when you want is a withdrawal. And if you overdraw, well, last night sort of explains it.



Barb

 

[Michael Snow]

No, it's the crying part that I can't stand. How do you combat tears? You can't. You just lose. I don't like losing... okay, I live to lose, but that's NOT the point .

 

[Carlos Hathcock III]

Mike,

You are killin me man.........

 

[fatrap]

Mike



If your kid is a girl wait till she grows up and your wife and daughter tag team cry on you. Your gonna wish there still was a French Foreign Legion. This i know.

fatrap

 

[Richard Whittemore]

Go to the wedding.

Give and take, 50%/50%.

What else were you gonna do anyway.

It only hurts for a little while.

 

[Staci Matheis]

Mike -



I've got this friend, Ronnee. She tells me that I'm the best friend a girl could have because I know what it's like from both sides!



There's something about the hormones, Mike..... I don't know what it is..... When I get hurt, I want to get fighting mad..... But I don't, I break into tears. The madder I would have been - the bigger the tears. They can't be stopped.



It's a sign of hurt. Deep hurt. Address the hurt, not the tears.



me!

 

[David Hunt]

Bag it! Go fishing. And if you go to the wedding - take advantage and kiss the bride!

 

[Pierre Voisine]

Snow...Go to the wedding. get drunk. hit on all the women there. never go back to a wedding again.



Pierre

 

[Michael Snow]

Oh, it's a done deal.. I'm going. I suspect it'll be a "dry" reception, so no worries on the booze. If I hit on all the women there, I sure won't go back to another wedding, but I'll be going to a funeral VERY quickly .

 

[Staci Matheis]

Good for you, Snowman!



One final suggestion.....

Let her pick out your suit and tie!

 

[Rich D]

Just always remember, either men or women are insane. I haven't quite figured out which, but definitely one gender is. Although I am leaning toward women... LOL!!

 

[Mike Moss]

Its cheaper than child support and they have good cake.

 

[Michael Snow]

Luckily (sarcasm) the union decided to strike, so I can't go anyway. I have to do the work of people who are not willing to do their own jobs.

 

[joe Smith2]

Sorry for your inconvience but im glad those peolle are willing to stand up for themselves. I have yet to see a company give anything unless you make a big stink about it.

 

[Michael Snow]

k9smith, I can only disagree with you.



The union is trying to get friends, family, and other union workers (non-sbc) to switch service from SBC to another union carrier (AT&T in this case). They'll never ask them to switch back until they're mad at AT&T. There have been several acts of vandalism, such as cutting whole trunks of phone lines.



They are arguing over healthcare benefits... they currently pay NOTHING toward their own health care costs except deductibles and co-pays -- no monthly contribution. The company is only wanting to raise the deductables and co-pays, NOT asking for a monthly contribution. Management employees' co-pays were raised AND our monthly contributions raised each year for the last two years.



They have it better than we do, guaranteed raises, etc. To top it off, they are intentionally trying to DAMAGE our company (see above) and somehow want more? Maybe if I were on the other side, I'd see things differently. But I'm not, and I don't.

 

[Staci Matheis]

I hate it when I have to stand with the "Dallas Snowball"!



A few years ago, when Mike first came to this board, I was working a temporary/union job for SBC. The benefit package was awesome by any standards. I was being paid 30% to 50% more for the work I was doing than I could have gotten anyplace else.



My co-workers were exceptional for the most part. SBC took care in their hiring process and it showed.



However, there were those.....



One of the problems with a union shop is that, once someone is in and has served their probationary period, they can be difficult to terminate. Quite difficult. There were the slackers. Everyone knew who they were. We all resented them. But they knew how to work the system. They were also the type who would do damage to the company if the opportunity arose during a strike; using the strike as an excuse to "justify" their actions.



Malicious acts are not "fighting fair".

Malicious acts are illegal.



I will also add that it is my opinion, after observing him here for the past 3 or 4 years, when it comes down to the wire, Mike Snow is a fair person.



me!

 

[Steve Rizza]

Staci-

I have to disagree.

If a guy deserves to be fired,the company can fire him.Union or not.

Being a slacker is one thing,deserving to be fired is another.

Deserving of an a$$ kicking,yes,a fireing,no.LOL



As far as fighting for the health care,if you agree to work for XXX amount of dollars,and pay XXX amount of dollars for your benifits package.

Wouldn't them wanting you to pay more for your benifits be the same as wanting you to take a pay cut?



You are right Snow,they do have it better than you do.They are willing to fight for what they believe in,you are willing to settle for whatever is given you.



Steve

 

[Staci Matheis]

Steve -



Part #1 - I think you and I probably agree more on this one than our words would indicate.



Part #2 - The company isn't asking them to pay more for the package - only higher co-pays and deductibles. The costs of health insurance have SKYROCKETED in the last few years; SBC has not asked their employees to contribute. Employees who have good health will not be effected. Someone in poor health who has to regularly use those benefits will find themselves paying more. I can tell you from experience, those of us in poor health are VERY happy to have benefits even with slightly higher deductibles; being a heart patient and diabetic, I would be afraid to add up the total cost of my annual medications, doctor visits and hospitalizations.....



me!

 

[Steve Rizza]

I agree JR.

It is the abuse by some that has led to all unions getting a bad rap.I have also seen abuse of the system on both sides.



Me-add up all those bills and double them.That's what out union stopped the company from doing last year.They tried to double our co-pays and deductables due to rising insurance costs.

Should I pay because the insurance is eating into their profits?



What would be next, "with the rising cost of fuel,we will have to cut everybody's pay $2.00 an hour" because that is eating into their profits.



Remember--once you lose it,you will never get it back.

 

[Michael Snow]

Okay, so when you sign up, health care costs the company $200/month (making numbers up here). So, when the rates are raised by the insurance company, the employer has no right to ask you to pay part of the $400/month?



If you're so important that you can demand (and get) whatever you want, fine... do it, but don't take 99,999 others with you when you walk out.



MORE importantly, the employer should have every right to fire all 100,000 that walk out, but NO, the socialistic behavior of the democrats says you have to give them their jobs back when they want to come back to work.. THAT is BS.

 

[Steve Rizza]

Now your getting the point Mike.

If one guy asks for what they deserve,the company will tell them to "go pound salt".

If 99,999 others stand up together,they have strength.



If taxes or other costs go up.Does the company have the right to dock your pay a few dollars an hour?

What is the difference?

 

[Michael Snow]

Steve, we will not agree on this ever.



If 100,000 people walk off the job, I believe they should be fire-able. They aren't.



There ARE 100,000 people in this country right now who'd LOVE to have ANY job, especially one that pays so well with such great benefits.

 

[Staci Matheis]

I'd gladly take one of those jobs, Mike.....

 

[Michael Snow]

They reached a tenative agreement. I have nothing nice to say about it, so I will refrain from future comments. I ain't happy though.

 

[Steve Rizza]

I finally agree with you.(that we will never agree).



How's the Bro doing?



Steve

 

[Michael Snow]

He's recovering fine. Went home Saturday. Thanks for asking.

 

[Steve Rizza]

Good deal.Hope everything goes well.