True Southerners

  • Thread starter William H. (Bill) Barham
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William H. (Bill) Barham

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Now, none of y'all pitch a conniption fit over this. No offense intended..



Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.



Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."



Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."



Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is -- as in: "Going to town, be back directly."



Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.



All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.



Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin!



Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.



Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.



No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.



A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.



Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines We don't do "queues," we do "lines" and when we're "in line," we talk to everybody!



Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage.



Southerners never refer to one person as "ya'll."



Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.



Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.



When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!



Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.



And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say, "Bless her heart" and go your own way.



To those of you who're still a little embarrassed by your Southerness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your heart!



And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff, bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have classes on Southernness as a second language!



And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a long time, ya'll need a sign to hang on ya'lls front porch that reads "I aint from the South but I got here as fast as I could !!





Bill
 
Anyone venturing down to Charlotte this week, can walk 6 blocks up from the convention center, and get lessons in real southern cookin' at Mertz. Lowcounty food at it's best. Nothing like a nice plate of shrimp n' grits, followed by a big bowl of their banana puddin.



Think I'll go there tomorrow! Nice list Bill.



Tex
 
Love it bill!!



I'll add one:



Southerners refer to a large group of folks as "all ya'll"!!! LOL
 
Bill, are you trying to tell me that everybody in the world doesn't talk and eat like that?



However, I've got to admit that I never really got all that excited with grits.

Harpo



 
That's what I like about Southener's...

They don't say, "Screw You"!

They say, "Srew Y'all"!!!!! :)
 
Grits are only good if they are fresh. Otherwise they set in the pot like concrete.



david.....
 
Grits...

Isn't that a measurement of how 'rough' your sandpaper is?



LOL



az
 
Grits are something that you either 'get' or 'don't get'. If you gotta explain it . . . .



Maybe I should make arrangements to take Mac and Mini out to a good breakfast, while they are here. Hmmmmm.



Tex
 
And here are some good old Southern expressions passed down to me from my mom....I grew up hearing these EVERY day.



"We're so poor, we ain't got a pot to piss in or a boot to pour it out of."



"He's so ignernt, they oughter shoot him with sh*t and arrest him for stinkin'"



my all time favorite...."Sh*t fire and save matches!!!"
 
>Grits are only good if they are fresh. Otherwise they set >in the pot like concrete.



Thats when you cut them into squares about 1/2" thick and fry them golden brown. Eat them like a pancake with honey and butter. As good or better that "fresh". Now I'm gonna have to go make some!
 
What is this Y'all stuff?



Everybody knows it younz.



All younz need to do is ask Rich or Geo,they will tell younz the right way to say it.



Steve
 
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