How Not to Test Your Trailer Brakes

[Scott Hammer TOXIC]

So, I get back from the Lake Sunday, sunburned, tired, only caught 1 stinkin fish, etc., etc. Whip the boat backwards into the driveway (the top of the driveway) and get ready to stow her away. NORMALLY, I would chock the rear tires just because I am the cautious type but for whatever reason today I didn't. I actually thought about the fact that I didn't but all of the sales pitch was going through my head, trailer brakes, can't backup with lights unhooked, yada, yada. Spin down the front wheel, unhook the lights and safety chains, crank her up, she hung on the ball like she always does, so I jump back in the truck to pull forward a little. That's when I hear this HONEEEEEEYYYYYY!! My wife was standing at the house, I looked at my watch and it was way too early for us to sneak away LOL, so I turn around and what do I see...... the 929 gaining a pretty good head of steam down the driveway twords both my newly sided house and my jeep wrangler. I throw the truck in park, bolt down the driveway, latch onto the trailer coupler, dig my feet into the asphalt, plant my butt on the ground (did you know that in emergency situations, your arse cheeks actually have gripping ability!!) and slide her to a stop about 6 inches from the house. Did I forget to tell you that I had on nylon (or whatever that lighweight material is) fishing shorts. I can say with definite certainty, there will be no TOXIC demonstrations for a while (Now I know why your butt cheeks are seperated vertically and not horizontally)!! And to think in fine TOXIC form I could have damaged the boat, my house AND my jeep in one DUMB moment. Tonight, I think I'll chect the trailer brakes and fluid.



TOXIC (add one to the list)

 

[Greg Meyer]

Toxic...



Near misses only count in horseshoes and handgrenades. That was just a normal Sunday afternoon around here...another near miss with disaster. You can now get a good photo of the boat near the house! Very Near!



They say God protects (a)fools and (b)drunks... I think we can add a category of recreational fishermen with steep driveways...or have we covered you in a previous category "a" or "b"? LOL j/k

 

[Ken Neeley]

Blackfly bites or road rash....hmmmm...tough choice!!!

 

[Greg Meyer]

I can the end is near... We make our own Blooper Video.. Toxic skiddin' on his butt cheeeks (the neighbors recoiling from the smell of burning flesh) THE 929 DRAGGIN' HIM TO A CERTAIN DEATH! Neeley in the woods "takin' care of business"... Scott and me in a fishing boat... Ah the profit ...
http://

 

[Tom Mann]

How about Blackfly bites ON road rash!

I can hear the cheering now as the commentator screams "MAN WHAT A SAVE!!!"

T

 

[Scott Hammer TOXIC]

Oh Ken, road strawberries any day----that even sounds better than blackflies. Gotta admit though, I looked like something out of the Flintstones getting dragged down the driveway on my rear end. Didn't feel a thing---you see, there was this incident with a cardboard box after an icestorm and I was going to show my wife how we poor kids used to sled......and this rock (well... boulder) and......it's just tooo painful, I can't go on......the doctor said it may take years to heal.......



TOXIC

 

[Ken Neeley]

After my blackfly incident, I would have killed for some ice to slide on!!!

 

[Scott Hammer TOXIC]

Not this ice my friend. I hit a rock sitting on a piece of cardboard and did a full 1 and 1/2 gainer face first into the snow. At first I thought everything ok, (and by the way, I just had sweatpants on) but I started losing the feeling in my rear and legs. I finally got the courage to go into the bathroom and climb up on the john to inspect the damage...........I was on my way to the hospital soon thereafter. You see, I had a blood blister the size of a softball right where......you get the idea.......After x-rays, it was determined that I had a hairline crack in my Coxial bone. After the ER staff stopped laughing, they told me I would just have to bear it. So you see, I do feel your pain.



TOXIC

 

[Rob LaMoy]

OOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUCH!!!!!! Stop that. Man, I'm sitting here contorting at the thought of the pain, more importantly the location of it. I'm not a wuss for pain, but it's the stuff like that, that brings tears to my eyes! LOL

 

[Scott Hammer TOXIC]

Oh Rob, I won't eve go into how they popped the blood blister to relieve the MASSIVE amount of pressure on the bottom of my spine (why my legs were going numb). Believe me, I've got stories that make this one look like a walk in the park.



TOXIC (with a high threshold for pain)

 

[Tom Mann]

Talk about sliding into home!!!

T

 

[Rich D]

Dang! Toxic I think you should consider changing your handle to SuperArse! You could have your own comic book and cartoon series. Stopping criminals with your flame spurt, stopping runaway freight trains with your buns of steel, flying through the air using your own self contained jet pack... Instead of spinach, you can carry cans of beans to regenerate your "super" powers!



Rich D

 

[Scott Hammer TOXIC]

Don't forget the Slim Jims, canned/smoked oysters and Vienna sausages. And for a primer, pickled vegetables are fantastic. Really though, some of my other experiences do relate to other body parts LOL!!