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Staci Matheis

Well-Known Member
Oct 13, 2000
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Enquiring minds want to know...........

(Mine, anyway!)

Where do you get all these quotes at the end of each of your posts?

Old chinese proverb say.....

Hungry man who stand of side of hill with fat mouth open waiting for roast duck to fly in, starve to death!

Heard that one and laughed!

Usually, the quotes come from what's left of my mind. As Mac (the knife) mentioned, they are Buffet lines and being from Alabama, the place Jimmy said he'd NEVER return to play another show, it's state law to know 75% of all Buffet material. It's a prorated thing where they will raise the percentage each year until we know all there is to know about The Church of Buffet.


" ... I just bought a waterbed, it's filled up with Elmers Glue... "
Yeah, well, "I blew out my flip flop and stepped on a pop top!"

Margaritas sound nice right now!
"...I like mine with lettuce and tomato, Heinz 57 and french fried potatoes..."
My 4 yearold's favorites are (converting him early):

1. "Fins to the left, fins to the right, and your the only bait in town....the sharks that can swim on the land." - The Shark song as he calls it.

2. "man you betta watch your feet, Lava comes down soft and hot, you betta love-a me now or love-a me not"

"I really do appreciate, the fact your sittin' here!" College flashback!!! This could get out of hand! I'll bet Mac's got a tatoo of a mexican beauty too!!! LOL

Last time Mac and I were out fishing, cutting limes, and enjoying Corona's he started humming..."ehy don't we get drunk, and...."

Boy, was that ever scary!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My only advice for you Ken would be to RUN!!!!!!! not walk to your favorite mini-mart for a jar of peanut butter and a can of sardines. If that doesn't keep Mac outta arms reach, nothing will....


"... and we all swore if we ever got rich, that we would pay the mini-mart back..."
I tried that!!!!

Mac loves peanut butter and sardines...I've seen him eat a 50 pack of Berkley Power-worms in ONE SITTING!!!!!

Well, Ken, actually I was kinda surprised..........

I had always heard that Mac 'n Mini were old Village People groupies and would sing and dance their numbers on the front deeck of Mini's boat when the fishin' was slow.

I had NO idea that Mac's repertoire also included Jimmy Buffet!


"Two big horns and a wooly jaw........"
See!!! This is the kind of stuff, fishin' lies are made of. Maybe I'll try to get Buffet in to sing at the innaugural ball of the 2nd annual rally! Magaritas and shrimp for everybody, and march around the table! You guys don't listen to Jim Croce too do ya? Cause if we start talkin junkyard dogs, I'm gonna bust!


Scott, you should have known better. LOL No 'toons in this post, just TUNES! See now I'm off on a tangent. I'd pay to see Mac & Mini do some Buffet on the front of that 929 on Erie in 5' swells.
All ya gotta do is supply the Corona's and limes and they turn into dancing fools........
"It's got a good beat and is easy to dance to.

- Every kid ever interviewed on American Bandstand


"You can get any thing you want,

At Alice's restaraunt..... 'Ceptin' Alice!"
OK then, since we're shiftin gears a little....

" He was born, in Oklahoma, and his wife's name was Betty Lou Thelma Liz,

He's not responsible for what he's doin, cause his mother made him what he is...."

EVERYBODY NOW............

"He's an up against the wall ......... "

Sing along if you know the tune....


"...I don't want a pickle, I just wanna ride on my motor-sickle.

I don't wanna die, I just wanna ride on my motorcy...cle.."
"...and there I was sitting on the group W bench with baby rapers, and mother rapers, and FATHER rapers, and the biggest, meanest, father raper of 'em all said 'what are you in here for kid', and I said la-la-la littering and they all moved away from me on the bench..."
Hey, Rich -

"We gotta lotta trouble, Chief, on account o' your boy, Mac.........."
Ken -

Twenty years ago, when I was married, my wife had a little girl by her previous marriage. One day, when Ashley was about 4, tryin' to find a way to keep her amused while I was in charge, I taught her the "Motor-sickle Song".......

Several days later, I'm stopped at a light with Linda and Ashley in the car, when a group of Hell's Angels types pulls up alongside on their Hogs - leathers and colors a blazin'........

Ashley rolls down her window in the back seat, sticks her head out and......... Yup, you guessed it! At the top of her little lungs so she could be heard over the roar of the exhaust...... "Ah don't want a pickle.......!"

Linda never forgave me!

You guys are getting too rowdy, I'm gonna go sit on my front porch swing and play my 6 string til you all calm down! LOL On a side note with the children, after a day on the water just me and my boy, he told his mother that he's going to take HIS bass boat (he's only 3) and run over those dam# waterfleas. Don't know where he heard that! My wife has some suspicions. That and he tells folks "Not to mess with Daddy's Dodge!" That's my boy!
So, Rob...... Are you trying to tell us that, lacking the funds for anyone better, that YOU and your guitar are going to be the entertainment at the Saturday night banquet?



Great story....my boy couldn't pronounce "B" when he was younger so he always greeted me at the door when I got home from work and wanted to know if we could go on the lake and catch some "pig pass"....
Sounds like he was describing some of the women I picked up back when I used ta drink!
Reminds me of another one....when he was around 3, we'd be out in the boat and if he saw pretty girl he's holler "hubba hubba"...LOL
Mac doesn't need any pick-up lines....when the purdy ladies see him dancing on the bow with his flip-flops, Corona's and straw hat they throw themselves in the water and start swimming for the boat...
Hey Rich...

What's the record for the longest string of replies???
Hey Ken,

That question is burried so deep that Rich will never see it....


Trying to reason with Hurricaine season (aka begging for new fishing gear)

If I do the entertainment for the banquet it will be a short one! Can't even play a guitar, but I can sing out of tune with the best of them! Actually as a kid, I was in all state and county choir, but they frowned on Buffet. Some folks just don't appreciate the finer things in life!
Rob -

Great! You and I can sing a duet! I do off-key-bass-baritone!

Mac -

That ain't magic........ Them there is fat cells........ Too many Coronas!

Yeah, you're right, Mac....... It was........ I apologize...... So, while you're in the cooler - please pass me a Diet Dr. Pepper!


"Bottle of wine, fruit of the vine, when ya gonna let me get sober? Out on the street, I tell the people I meet, to buy me a bottle of wine!"
Heck, Guys, it's been so long since I've had a drink (21 years on September 1st) that I can't even get the lyrics right!

"Bottle of wine,

fruit of the vine,

when ya gonna let me get sober?

Leave me alone.

Let me go home.

Let me go home and start over.

Hangin' around

This dirty old town,

Singin' for nickles and dimes.

Out on the street

I tell the people I meet

To buy me a bottle of wine!"