Funny

[fatrap]

Military Rules



Marine Corps Rules:



1. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.

2. Decide to be aggressive enough, quickly enough.

3. Have a plan.

4. Have a back-up plan, because the first one probably won't work.

5. Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet.

6. Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun whose caliber does not start with a '4.'

7. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life is expensive.

8. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Lateral & diagonal preferred.)

9. Use cover or concealment as much as possible.

10... Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours.

11... Always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.

12... In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance, or tactics. They will only remember who lived.

13... If you are not shooting, you should be communicating your intention to shoot.



Navy SEAL's Rules:



1. Look very cool in sunglasses.

2. Kill every living thing within view.

3. Adjust Speedo.

4. Check hair in mirror.



US Army Rangers Rules:



1. Walk in 50 miles wearing 75 pound rucksack while starving.

2. Locate individuals requiring killing.

3. Request permission via radio from 'Higher' to perform killing.

4. Curse bitterly when mission is aborted.

5. Walk out 50 miles wearing a 75 pound rucksack while starving.



US Army Rules:



1. Curse bitterly when receiving operational order.

2. Make sure there is extra ammo and extra coffee.

3. Curse bitterly.

4. Curse bitterly.

5. Do not listen to 2nd LTs; it can get you killed.

6. Curse bitterly.



US Air Force Rules:



1. Have a ****tail.

2. Adjust temperature on air-conditioner.

3. See what's on HBO.

4. Ask 'What is a gunfight?'

5. Request more funding from Congress with a 'killer' Power Point presentation.

6. Wine & dine ''key' Congressmen, invite DOD & defense industry executives.

7. Receive funding, set up new command and assemble assets.

8. Declare the assets 'strategic' and never deploy them operationally.

9. Hurry to make 13:45 tee-time.

10. Make sure the base is as far as possible from the conflict but close enough to have tax exemption.



US Navy Rules:



1. Go to Sea.

2. Drink Coffee.

3. Deploy Marines



Go Navy !

 

[Greg Meyer]

Ahhhh there is truth in what you post young grasshopper...

 

[TritonGlenn]

I had someone explain how the different services build bases recently. What he said was in jest, but in the end, he was serious... and it sounds right too.



When the Navy appropriates government funds to build a base, they start with piers, and support buildings, and railways, and cranes, etc, etc, etc... After most of the money is spent, they say "Oh crap! We only have $ xxx amount of money left; we should build a barracks and dining hall. So they do, within budget, but without much thought to higher amenities. Then, after a few years, they get money to "improve" the barracks / dining facility, to bring it up to the standards it should have been in the first place - albeit still behind the times by a good few years.



When the Air Force appropriates government funds to build a base, they start with the barracks, dining hall, and entertainment venues. Only after their people are 100% taken care of in every way - food, lodging, entertainment, etc..., do they start construction on the airfield, hangers, and support facilities. Then, after they run out of money, they go back to the government and show a half built runway, etc... and of course, they get additional funds to complete the projects that are the main reason for the base existing - the runway, etc....



Now, I'm retired Navy, and although I laughed at the joke (and many times on the Air Force base I'm working on, I poke fun at my Air Force counterparts)... I have to admit - I have always been, and still am, envious of the way the AF takes care of their personnel.



I'm proud to have served, and I'm extremely proud and appreciative of all of my fellow service men and women, no matter what service they are / were in.



All the best,

Glenn

 

[Greg Meyer]

And, the Marines just get some old used and abused Army tents and let's it go at that...

 

[Scott Allen]

The rest of you are just jealous cause us old Air Force enlisteds were smart enough to send our officers out to battle while we enlisted supported them.....



Scott